am i so insecure that i cant let someone, anyone, love me without questioning it? finding some reason to question it? can i not trust it? am i so afraid to trust it?
what do i expect? i dont even know. i feel like i have old, childhood-grown expectations. what do i need? and when someone else is in need, is suffering, how much and how long to i put aside my needs?
am i codependent? maybe i am. maybe i follow after my mom in that way, among others. i spent 18 years around her almost 24/7. maybe that was one of the worst things i picked up. if i am, how do i change that?
i dont know whats wrong with me. but something is.
